mailbox ˚✿﹕her letters

hiya,

i hope you're grand! i've been in the mood to write blog entries.

with the end of my last school year approaching, i'm feeling quite bummed out. like a weird mix of nostalgia, relief, and sadness? i've never really liked my school, but the experiences i've had and the people i've met here definitely contributed to shaping me into who i am at this current moment. feels weird knowing that i'll have to leave it all behind soon.

i was talking to the head of my school's art department a few days ago and the conversation we had will probably stick with me for a while. my attendance this year hasn't been the greatest because of some external complications, but regarding following through and finishing my education, she's been the one constant that's motivated me to keep going. i owe her! i made an offhand joke about it all and she told me, word for word, "it's not about what went wrong, it's about what was wrong. don't discredit your abilities and worth." then she gave me a pack of m&m's as if i wasn't two seconds away from bursting into tears. ok! thanks!

school worries aside, this is probably the most content i've felt in a while. i've been on sertraline for just over a month now and, even though it might be too early to say anything definitively, i feel like it's been helping a lot. admittedly, i've always felt a little apprehensive about taking SSRIs, especially when i consider my age, but i know everyone's experiences with them differ. i guess i just didn't want to be dependent on medication to help myself feel stable, i thought i'd be able to just wait it out or something and it'd eventually pass. i was used to being told it was a phase which, in hindsight, was a bit stupid of me to take at face value. i'm very grateful my experience with them seems to be going well so far. i'm only 17, going on 18. i don't want to spend the rest of my youth feeling like life is a constant chore, and i'd really rather not carry that into adulthood either. i doubt i'd be able to cope if that were the case! i think it's just clicked in my head that i want to treat my life with a bit more care than i used to.

quite a personal entry, yeouuuch. i'm starting to bare my soul! i may or may not delete this depending on how embarrassed i feel later on when i reread it.

much love, callie

who up lenkering they adrianne rn,

i saw big thief live! life has been worth living. the setlist was amazing! they even played a few of adrianne lenker's songs - real house and anything. yes, i cried. (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟) the girl standing next to me was crying, too. we made eye contact for a moment, then burst out laughing... if i'm not mistaken, i think they also played a lot of unreleased songs!

zero complaints against the concert itself, but the people around us were a little annoying. lots of shoving and pushing towards the barricade. my friend and i managed to get relatively close to it, but we just kept getting pushed further and further back. an entire family appeared out of no where midway through the opener (laraaji!), and of course they were all practically 6'4", so our view of the stage was blocked for a bit... we got flashbanged with a torch by security multiple times too because some people kept taking photos with flash. irritating as hell, but it's whatever!

i managed to buy a t-shirt and capacity CD before we left! still geeking out about it because it's one of my all-time favourite albums?! it was the last one they had in stock, too!!!! they also had dragon new warm mountain i believe in you CDs for sale, which i reaaally wanted to buy, but they were all sold out?!%*@

tomorrow's the last day of my art exam, which means i only have a few more exams left until i'm 100% finished with sixth form! i can't wait for uni... our entire year group is planning to go to the beach next week. crazy how we even managed to organise it. i'm really excited! i haven't been to the beach in ages, i just hope the weather is gonna be nice.

still itching to rehaul the site, but this blog update will do for now.

mwaaah, callie

hellooo,

general life update! i've been itching to code but i legiterally have zero time now. i miss updating my site every day guuuuugghhh. i was working on a microblog layout, but i've scrapped it for now cause i don't want to bomb my exams. i'm getting kinda bored of this layout though. i really miss my plaid backgrounds and lace trims?! i have plans for her-letters v2, just need to restrain myself until i'm actually free. ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

i've been in my school's art department from 9AM - 5PM through monday to friday for the past 2 weeks. my posture has definitely seen better days (ㆆ_ㆆ) since i've finished all the coursework for my other subjects, my teachers are completely fine with me skipping their classes. honestly, i've been treating this year like i'm already in uni. it's not even funny anymore - my attendance has been awful. the content i need to revise for written exams is available online though, so i'm not that stressed out.

my art exam is next week and i'm dreading it? though i'm also quite excited cause i love painting hehe. the exam spans over 4 days from 9AM - 1PM! my canvases reach eye level from the ground up. i don't remember the exact measurements, but for reference, i'm about 5'7"... thankfully, we can prep beforehand. i'll show photos in a future entry once my project's been graded! here's some stuff i've been working on recently:

i love printmaking and linocutting, but the amount of times i've stabbed my fingers with my carving tools is diabolical.

i've only finished the underpainting for the piece on the left, but i'm happy with how it looks so far. the string portrait though... i don't know what possessed my teacher to make me do this. it's really cool, but it's taking me forever to sew it and i think i've pricked myself more than i've punctured the canvas.

anyway, my birthday is next month! i'll be finished with my exams the week after (mid-may), but my friends won't finish theirs until mid-june which suuucks. they all do STEM subjects, so they have so many practical + written exams. i have no idea when we'll be able to hang out outside of school or the library when we're studying. we all turn into hobbits when it comes to exam season. ("- ࡇ -)

on a much brighter note, i'll be going to a big thief concert veryyy soon! so much for having "zero" free time LMFAOO... but it's big thief, so i'm letting this slide for myself. i think i'll burst into tears as soon as i see adrianne lenker in the flesh. the entire band in general, really. i'll be going with a friend, and i'm planning on meeting up with her this weekend to make make lil patchwork t-shirts to wear to the concert. super duper excited?£"%?!@""

i have so much to talk about, but i need to lock the fuck in. bye bye, take care.

kind regards, callie

the suuun is ouuut,

i hope you've been doing well. i always fail to realise how much i've missed spring until it rolls around again. my friend and i made the most of the weather and went for an impromptu drive, just look at this -- it was a little windy, but it was so beautiful.

lately, i've been trying to be more thoughtful about shopping, particularly for clothing. for me, that means being honest with myself about whether i'll actually wear something or if i just want it for a cheap hit of dopamine... being mindful of materials, too. my family moved house back in november, so i cleared my wardrobe and sold/donated a bunch of clothes i don't actively wear or see myself wearing any longer. cha-ching.

curating my wardrobe and style is something i think i'd like to document? i plan on making a page dedicated to upcycling and fashion in general. i really like clothes, okay... in the meantime, i want to show you a few pieces i've picked up recently. just click the images if you'd like to see them better!

sooo freakin' sick. i typically browse in thrift shops and on the oh so lovely app, vinted. #VintedWarrior. you'd have to pry vinted from my cold, decrepit hands. who doesn't love a good bargain?

apart from that, life's been pretty uneventful. i finish school in ~3 months and if i manage to get the grades needed for my offers, i'll be studying architecture at uni. most of my friends will be moving elsewhere, which i'm trying my best not to dwell on... it's fine, we ball.

have you seen the casting annoucement for the life is strange show? i know a lot of fans have mixed feelings about it, but i'm excited nonetheless. same with the live-action adaptation of look back. i've only ever heard good things about hirokazu kore-eda's work, so i'm stoked. even if it ends up being different from what's expected, i'm sure it'll be an interesting watch. honestly, i'm more preoccupied with preparing myself to get emotionally pummelled for the third time.

there's lots to look forward to! i hope 2026 will be a good year. i'm glad i'm motivated to code again.

take care, callie